Don't follow your dreams; chase them.


*tries to get eight hours sleep in 3 hours*

(via aplusp)


i want to sleep for 2 years and wake up with a degree, an apartment and money in the bank.

(via aplusp)


you never realize how much you love sleeping until you have to wake up in the morning 

(via fake-mermaid)


so my dad’s friend was bartending and saw a guy put something in a girl’s drink so while the guy turned around he switched their drinks and watched the guy roofie himself. 

(via fake-mermaid)



just replace all police with police dogs

nobody would be mean or rude the police imagine a dog with a lil’ backpack giving you a ticket. you can’t get mad at the dog. the dog is just doing his lil’ dog job and wagging his tail and you KNOW he loves you still.

(via fake-mermaid)

  • me 3 years ago: an unappealing awkward person
  • me now: an unappealing awkward person with a blog


*shows up at ur door 10 years after we had an argument* aND ANOTHER THING

(via fake-mermaid)